Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Why do we drift apart ?

Why do we drift apart in relationships ?


Radha Krishna : The eternal lovers

Why do couples who were once head over heals in love with each other start to drift apart after a few years of being together?
 There are many reasons and they might vary from couple to couple.
If you think about the major ones, they are:

1).Indifference and neglect
“Indifference and neglect often do much more damage than outright dislike.” 

How correctly J.K Rowling has stated two of the main reasons behind many failed relationships. After being together for years, couples start to take each other for granted. Indifference creeps into their relationship and they begin to neglect each other. Not because they dislike each other, but because they are flowing together like leaves floating along in the same river, no more attached to the same tree.

Solution: Try not to neglect each other. Take a genuine interest in each other. He/she was the person whom you thought the world about when you were in love.

2). Communication gap

Couples these days have no time for each other caught up in their individual careers and lives.There is a huge communication gap.
One expects the other to understand his/her situation because he/she is his/her, spouse/lover.
Unfortunately, till this moment human beings do not have the ability to communicate via thoughts or through telepathy.

Solution: You have to talk.
When you  talk, please do not nag. Telling things more than once, usually do more damage than good.


3). Past Grudges not forgiven

Try not to bring out his/her past mistakes when you start to argue. Such arguments often tend to escalate beyond your control. When you mention a past mistake you actually hurt yourself again because you start to experience the same emotions which had been created then by that old hurt. Forgive any small mistakes that had happened. She/He had done it because of his/her circumstances then.

Solution:
Try to forgive and forget. More than him/her, you will be doing yourself a favour. We human beings are not perfect. We do ourselves more harm when we keep our anger suppressed. 
 "Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die"
                                          -Budha

4. Too much Criticism

Things which attracted you when you were in love now may irritate you and you might start criticising him/her.
The person remains the same but your perspective has changed. You loved her bubbly talks when you were in love, but now you criticise her for being a chatterbox.

Solution: Stop criticising, Start Loving...
Every person likes to be appreciated. If you don't find anything to appreciate just keep quiet. Too much criticism is bound to make your relationship go sour.

5.Forgetting the use of the magic words,"Thank You" & "Sorry": 
When you are in public you are the most graceful person on earth. You tell "Thank you" to the security guard who opened the supermarket door for you. You say "sorry" when you accidently bump onto a person on the pavement. But do we remember to say "Thank you" to our spouses for their tiny acts of kindness?
Do we openly ask for forgiveness if we make a mistake?
Instead, we take their kindness for granted and try to justify our mistakes.

Solution:

Practice gratitude. Remember little acts of kindness daily and be grateful for it. Maintain a gratitude journal. Try to be kind yourself.
Practice to apologise.


“An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.”
― Lynn Johnston


So let us start appreciating, loving and living. Let us bring more magic into our lives by using the magic words "Thank You" and "Sorry."

God Bless You All.... Have a great day!

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