Friday, June 27, 2014

Shopping at Baggout with Bittu Sharma of Comedy nights with Kapil

Bittu Sharma with the dreaded women in his life. (Dadi, Mrs Sharma, Pinky Bua and Palak)
Image courtesy: ComedyNightsWithKapil
Mr. Bittu Sharma glared at the long shopping list he had in his hand. The first part was from Dadi, second part from Bua and the third part from his whining wife.  When he looked at the last part, he swore. His meddling neighbor Palak had also listed her requirements. Dadi’s list contained cosmetics, Pinky Bua’s had tops and Salwars, his wife had listed various brands of slippers and Palak, bags and purses.

“Huh, what do these ladies think? Do I have no other job?” said Bittu, pushing the list back into his pocket. He had just voiced the reality. He was jobless.

The disgusting foursome had started a boutique at his home, much to his despair. His guests were declining to come for interview. They visited their boutique instead.
The women had given him enough money to purchase all the gods. He couldn’t understand from where these ladies had got all the money. He suspected the influence of the Mahila Jagaran Samiti to be the reason behind the financial independence of the women in his life. They no longer depended on him but ordered him around for purchasing things they needed.

“When will some men join me to form a Mard Jagaran Samiti?” Bittu murmered. He hurled curses at all the innocent passers by simply for existing. He had to go to ten shops and had almost 50 items to pick. His commission was a mere 2000 rupees with an extra 500 thrown in for the transportation.

“Oye Bittu, Why are you standing here with that murderous expression on your face?”
It was Siddhu ji, who had become busy once again in the cricketing world. He was coming out of the Mc donald’s shop which stood at the entrance to the mall.

“Don’t ask Siddhu ji. I am planning to file a domestic harassment case against all those females who are ruling my house currently,” said Bittu.

At Siddhu’s behest, Bittu narrated his sob story.

“Necessity is the mother of all inventions Bittu. Have you tried online shopping? These days they do home delivery. There are websites like Flipkart, Myntra, Jabong who does excellent work.” Said Siddhu.

“But Paji, they want so many different things. It would have been good if one site itself had all the details,” said Bittu, his laziness seeking to find the easiest way out of the easy ones.

“Try Baggout then. It is just the site for you. You can access all the various shopping sites from there.  You get cash back on all deals. No one needs to know a thing,” said Siddhu winking at Bittu.

“Ha..Now you are talking sense. Explain to me how it works,” said Bittu, his face lit up with a 1000-watt smile.

“It is just four steps dear. Here it is,” said Siddhu pulling out his tab and showing the procedure explained on the baggout site.

“Hurray, Ladies, here I go. From today, only Baggout. No bags out. Only Bags go in. And cash back goes into my pocket. Eeehahahaha,”cried Bittu, clicking the join Baggout button on the site on his own mobile.

“Oh, Yes. So that was the plan. Wait till I tell memsahib about it,” said Raju, emerging from the shadows and presenting an evil smile that would have impressed even Mogambo.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” asked Bittu, sensing the danger he was in.

“Memsahib sends me to spy on you. She doesn’t believe you,” said Raju.

“Arrey, why can’t we be friends?”asked Bittu waving a Rs.500 note at  Raju.

“Okay. But keep your promise. Otherwise, I will go to them and reveal your plans,” said Raju, grabbing the Rs. 500 note.

“Okay Bittu. All the best with your shopping,” said Siddhu and left.

Settling onto the seat near the Mc Donald man, Bittu selected the goods listed from the Flipkart, Jabong and Myntra. The trending page on, helped him choose the most popular goods. The user-friendly site was easily navigable and hence the shopping was over soon. No more dragging heavy shopping bags and no long wait at checkout counters.

“Hail Baggout,” shouted the two before leaving happily for home.

The goods arrived at the house of Siddhu, who had agreed to help, the next day. Bittu collected it from there and the cash back flowed into his account.

Bittu and Raju made sure that the women knew nothing about it. But were they be able to keep the ladies in the dark for long? Only time can answer that.

This post is written for a contest organized by

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  1. Taking a concept of a famous comedian is very much challenging! Well written Preethi, best wishes for the contest :)

  2. Great write up :) loved reading what will happen if Kapil goes to shopping :P

  3. Interestingly put. Kapil, Shopping and Baggout Fun.

    1. Thank you Manjulika Pramod. It was fun to imagine as well.

  4. Kapil is a cool choice, Preethi :)
    Best wishes :)

  5. Nice one Preethi..quite of luck... :-)

  6. you have put the great comedy show right in the middle of the article .. excellent

    all the best for the contest


  7. Haha... When Sidhu is endorsing something with his trademark idioms and proverbs, how can it be wrong?

    Enjoyed reading it.