I was always a tomboy. I loved wearing my hair short and had no idea how to dress up. I loved climbing trees, swimming, cycling, driving, dancing and traveling without caring a thing about what others thought. My brother and my male cousins were my best friends. I bonded more with my male classmates and trusted them.
It was when I became a mother that I started realizing the true essence of being a woman. I began acknowledging how much effort a mother puts in to raising her kids and family. A tiny dependent bundle of joy reminded me constantly I was the world to him. I started honoring the woman in me more after I became his mother. His unconditional love and hearing ‘I love you, mother’ every day acted like an elixir.
I had put on almost 20kgs extra weight during pregnancy. My first act of self-love was losing that weight. Running behind him 24/7 and sleepless nights, of course, helped.
My second act of self-love was treating my body with healthy food. I began to give attention to the food I cooked every day, trying to keep it nutritious yet tasty. To one who opted to eat out at any given chance, it was a definite improvement.
My third act of self-love was chasing my passion. I revived old hobbies like crocheting, sketching and painting. I became a more dedicated blogger and writer once he started play school. I became a published author.
These days, once a week the two men in my life treat me like a queen. I sleep in late in the morning while they go out for breakfast on weekends. They bring me breakfast and later on help me cook lunch and clean. It is our bonding day.
I am still struggling in various aspects of grooming. I hate going to a beauty parlor. I hate torturing myself through waxing and threading. I am so confused when I have to buy clothes for myself. I still get scolded by my sister for not giving attention to tiny nuances while getting clothes stitched. I mess up recipes.
I don’t think I will ever become an ideal woman. But I guess I am enough. I love myself and what I have become.